If You’ve Never Heard of ‘Trauma Bonding,’ This Explainer Is For You

by Dimple Punjaabi   September 11, 2020

People often don’t realize they have formed a trauma bond. It’s possible that many of us have had at least one such relationship in our lives. The first step to breaking free is acceptance of such a bond. I wrote the following to explain what a trauma bond is, how it forms and some resources that might help if you’ve experienced this.

What Is Trauma Bonding?

Trauma bonding is loyalty to a person who is destructive. It occurs because of cycles of abuse followed by intermittent love or reward. This treatment creates a powerful emotional bond that is extremely hard to break. People often don’t realize they are in a trauma bond while others outside the relationship can clearly see it’s destructive patterns.

According to Dr. Patrick Carnes, these types of destructive attachments are known as ” betrayal bonds” and can take place in any context where a relationship can be formed. They can occur in romantic relationships, friendships, within the family, and the workplace.

The 7 Stages of Trauma Bonding

1. Love Bombing: They shower you with excess love, flattery and appreciation in order to gain your affection.
2. Trust and Dependency: Try do everything to win your trust and make you depend on them heavily for love and validation.
3. Criticism: They gradually start criticizing you. They blame you for things and become more demanding.
4. Gaslighting: When things go wrong they tell you that is your fault. They make you doubt your own perceptions and manipulate you into believing their narrative.
5. Resigning to Control: You no longer know what to believe but your only way of experiencing the good feelings of Stage I is by giving in and doing things their way.
6. Loss of Self: When you fight back, things get worse. You settle for anything……………………………………..⚠️ TO CONTINUE READING THIS ARTICLE PLEASE FOLLOW THE LINK BELOW.

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