Being the Change I want to See in the World

Written by N

Be the change that you wish to see in the world.

Mahatma Gandhi

In recent weeks there has been a lot in the media about injustice and equality in our world.  There has been marching and protest and anger and rage.  I noticed that all of this was having a deeper impact on my thinking than I initially realised.  I decided today that I could just let all the emotions consume me and cause me suffering but instead I practiced listening to my own voice.  Through the internal and external noise I listened to my own thoughts.  My own values and my own beliefs.  And rather than using my energy to worry and overthink and complicate it all, I asked myself, what I could do to help to make this world a more equal and peaceful place to be.  I wondered what actions I could take every day to help our world become a little more equal.

• I will choose to respect others regardless of their appearance or social status or job title or skin colour or their actions.
• I will choose to listen to the opinions and views of others. Even when these are not the same as my own.
• I will choose to accept others the way they are and accept that they can live their lives the way they see fit.
• I will choose to listen to other people speak in their language and know that I can answer in my own language. The language of freedom.
• I will choose to notice the positivity and beauty in others and the world around me. Even if it may be harder to see on some occasions than on others.
• I will choose to notice when I am judging others. And in turn I will choose to change this judgement into a more positive way to view it all.
• I will choose to identify and know my own values. And in turn understand that other people may not hold the same values as I do. And I’ll tell myself that is ok!
• I will choose to listen to my own opinions and choices. I will value my own voice.  I will take ownership of my own actions.
• I will choose to stop the unnecessary justifications and explanations when someone doesn’t hold the same beliefs as I do. I do not need to justify myself to anyone.
• I will choose to live my life the way I want to. As it is my life to live and nobody else’s.
• I will choose to be grateful that I can be kind and non-judgemental in a world full of inequalities and injustice. And I will be proud of myself for making this choice.
• I will also respect myself. I will value my own worth. I will be kind to myself. After all I am just as deserving of it as others are!

As I sit here and read over my blog so far, I notice that many of these actions have always been part of who I am.  I have always done my best to treat everyone I meet with respect and understanding. Maybe even choosing to do this to others and not to myself!  But one thing I have struggled with is a lack of understanding when I encountered others who did not do this.  When I found people judging others because of their appearance or social status or ethnicity I just got so angry and frustrated.  I just couldn’t understand it! It was wrong and horrible and cruel!

But the more I travel along this Recovery Journey the more and more I see that this is just another type of judgement.  I was judging others for not being kind enough or understanding enough.  For not being accepting of other people who acted or looked different to them.  When I noticed this I found it a difficult pill to swallow!  I was in denial or maybe ashamed!  But I am learning to accept it now.  I am practicing dropping this form of judgment.  I am practicing accepting that others will not see things the way I see them or act the way I act.  And I tell myself that that is their choice to make and it is not my concern!

I have spent time getting to know myself.  Becoming aware of my own values and beliefs.  Raising my own self-worth.  Learning to trust my own opinions and decisions.  I have been slowly learning to take ownership of me!  And the more I listen to my own voice and value my own choices and opinion the easier it is to accept the voices and actions of others.  And it is amazing!  I am learning that I will never have control over the behaviour or words of other people but I am also learning that I don’t need to either.  I am learning that I also do not need to let these actions or words have a negative effect on me or my wellbeing.  And it makes my life much easier!

So now I think back to all the racing thoughts and sadness and anger I have suffered over the past few weeks and I suppose I now realise how unnecessary it all was.  I have no control over what is happening.  It doesn’t serve me to try to understand every side of the story.  I don’t need to hold guilt about my opinions or lack of action or of my choices.  So now I will ask myself what I learned from it all….

I let the noise get to me.  I forgot to listen to my own voice.  I allowed the emotions to take over.

And next time I will….

Listen to my own voice.  Own my own choices.  Simplify it all.

And…

I will re-read this blog and remind myself that there is only one way to change this world and that is by being the change that I want to see in the world.  Each and every day of my life!

Nx